Love Changes Everything
by acciosilverdoe
Summary: Series of Addison/Derek oneshots. Rating's just to be on the safe side, but check the ANs as some chapters may vary in rating.
1. Where Did I Go Wrong?

**A/N: So this is just gonna be a series of one-shots. They'll probably be four, but I may not have time to write that many, or I may think of more, you never know. Here's the first one, anyways. It's Addek, basically how they fell apart, but then fought to stay together again. That's gonna be the main plot of all the one-shots, by the way. Please review, and any ideas for how they could fall apart are welcome, I do have a few but they're kinda boring and have probably been done before. New ideas equal love:)**

**Thanks Zoe (QueenSatan) for Beta-ing. You rock:)**

**Disclaimer: Grey's? Not mine. But I am getting the DVD in three days. Yay!! **

**ADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEK**

Derek sighed as his phone began ringing again. The dull tone had become so well known to him that he hardly heard it any more. Grabbing it, he stared at the Caller ID for a few seconds before throwing it down on the floor next to him. He didn't know the real reason why he was dodging her phone calls, but he did know he'd taken it too far now to stop. Running a hand through his hair tiredly, he leant back on the pillow behind him.

"Great," he thought. "Another night on an on-call room bed."

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"Damn it, Derek," Addison slammed her phone shut and sat down on the edge of her bed. Why was he avoiding her? Why didn't he ever come home anymore? What had she done to make him want to spend so much time at the hospital rather than at home with her? She was tired of spending every night alone when she should be spending it with her husband. She'd had countless conversations with his answering machine, and not once had he called back. She wiped the tears that had fallen down her face away and lay down on the large bed. She pulled the covers up over her body and let her head sink into the pillow, and fell asleep to the sound of her own tears.

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"Derek, you look tired," Mark commented as the two men made their way towards the hospital cafeteria.

"On-call room beds don't exactly give me best night's sleep," Derek yawned.

"Well you could always go home," Mark suggested, knowing it'd take more than that to get Derek to see that Addison needed him home.

"It's too late now," Derek said.

"It's never too late," Mark replied. "Why are you doing this, Derek? Why are you being so distant?"

Derek stopped walking and turned to face his friend. "I'm not being distant."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "You never go home. She misses you. She need you back."

Derek sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor. "I don't know what I'm doing any more, Mark. I don't mean to be so distant, I just can't stand the thought of losing her."

"Why do you think you're losing her?"

"I'm scared that if I go back now, she'll be so mad at me and she'll tell me to leave or she'll leave herself. I can't lose her, Mark. She's everything to me and I'm so scared she'll realize she can do better and leave," Derek sighed again and looked back up at Mark.

"She loves you, there's no way she's going to leave you. She wouldn't care if she could get Russell Crowe, she'd still choose you. You're the one she wants, Derek, you just have to make things better," Mark said, hoping he would listen.

"What can I do?" he asked.

"I have the perfect idea."

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"Don't give anything away. Don't give anything away," Mark muttered to himself over and over again as he walked up the steps to Derek and Addison' house. He knew if he gave anything away now, it would blow any chance of the plan working.

He knocked on the door, even though he had a key, he never used it, and waited for Addison to open it. After a few moments he saw her approach the door and open it slowly.

"Hi, Mark," she said, the tiredness evident in her voice. He took in her tear-stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes.

"Hey Ads, how are you?" He asked, moving past her to walk into the house.

"Fine," she shrugged, closing the door.

They walked in silence through to the living room, where they both sat down facing each other.

"He's still not picking up his phone. I don't know what else I can do. I've tried everything I can think of," she wiped a stray tear from her face.

"Just keep going, Addie. He'll come round soon, I'm sure of it," Mark smiled warmly.

"I'm not so sure of that," she shook her head. "I just don't know what I've done wrong."

"You've done nothing wrong. This is all on him, he's the one missing out."

"Not really, I'm the one who's here alone when he's at the hospital. There's obviously something happening there that's better than staying here with me," she sighed and put her head in her hands.

"Addie..." Mark drifted off.

"Can you just leave me alone for a bit?" She whispered.

Mark nodded. "Okay," he said and got up, kissed the top of her head gently before leaving the room. He hoped Derek would take his advice before Addison really gave up.

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Derek took a deep breath. It was the first time he'd gone home in ages and he wasn't sure how Addison would react. He was sure she'd be mad, but hopefully she'd be so happy to see him that the madness would just fade away. He had it all planned in his head, and he kept telling it to himself. 'Don't act like nothing's happened because sooner or later we'll have to talk about it. Don't get mad, even if she does, because it'll only give her more of a reason to hate me. Don't think it's all going to go back to normal now, we have so much to sort out.' He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. What was to say she wouldn't throw him out immediately, without giving him a chance to speak? 'No,' he thought. He couldn't think that way. It was going to be fine.

Finally he put his ket in the lock and pushed it open slowly, half expecting something to fly at him. But he was safe, at least for now. He closed the door and walked through to the living room where Addison was asleep on the couch. He sighed. 'She looks so vulnerable.' What had he done?

Carefully he walked over to a cupboard and pulled out a blanket. He walked back over to the couch and lay the blanket over her, not sure if he wanted her to wake up yet or not. He watched as she moved slightly when the fabric touched her skin, and then settled back down. He let out a breath and sat down of the chair facing her.

He knew he needed to explain everything to her, to explain why he'd been so distant the last few months. It wasn't that he didn't love her anymore, more that he was scared she didn't love him. The first time he'd met her he'd been so amazed by how beautiful she was, and also by the way she acted. She wasn't the kind of girl to show off her beauty, and she never looked twice at the guys who constantly looked at her. Both he and Mark had wanted her to notice them. Mark, however, learnt his lesson after hitting on her at a school charity party. Derek had become friends with her almost immediatly (Mark had too, but he'd kept more of a distance at first), and had began falling for her soon afterwards. Unbeknown to him, though, was that she was falling for him too. It had taken them eight months to admit their true feelings to each other, but when they did they were happier than either of them though possible. They dated for two years before he proposed after a romantic meal and walk through Central Park. Five months later they were married and happily in love. Nobody ever thought anything would tear them apart, they were the 'perfect couple'. But now Derek realized he was the one who'd thrown all of that away. He was the one who'd pushed himself away from her, he was the one who'd thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He gasped slightly as she began to stir, and her eyes fluttered open. She took a few moments to take in her surroundings, and she sat up quickly when she saw Derek facing her. She yawned and raised her eyebrow at him questioningly.

"Derek, you're..." she hesitated. "What are you doing here? You're never here."

He broke eye contact with her and studied the floor. "Addie, I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, wanting him to admit that he was wrong and explain why he'd been so indifferent towards her.

Derek shook his head. "Addison I want to explain this all to you but I don't know how. I need to make you see that this was nothing to do with you."

"Just tell me Derek," she pleaded.

"Just give me a while to understand in myself, Addie, please," he replied.

"How can you not understand it? You're the one who's been spending every day at the hospital without coming home. I've been alone here wondering what the hell I've done wrong for you to want to avoid me. Can you blame me for wanting to know why, Derek?" She stood up and walked to the kitchen.

Derek took a deep breath and followed her. "Look, Addie, I'm sorry. I don't understand why I did this but I know I can't stand to have you mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you. Well, I am. But I'm more disappointed and confused," she looked up at him.

"Well I can't stand that either."

"Then tell me what I did!"

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you doing this?" She was shouting at this point and tears were beginning to run down her cheeks.

"Addison don't cry," he reached out to her.

"You're the one making me cry," she pushed his hand away and moved to the other side of the room, facing out of the window away from him.

"Addison-"

"No! Don't talk to me until you can tell me what the hell I did and what you were thinking," she said, not turning around.

Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just so scared of losing you. I'm scared that you'll realize you could do better than me and leave. I love you, Addison. I love you so much it scares me, because I know without you I'd be nothing. So I thought if you never saw me you'd fight for me, which was stupid because I know you're not strong enough for that. I just brought back all your old insecurities that you weren't good enough, and that I was going to find someone else," he paused and took another deep breath. "I just wish I could take back these last few months, I would never have been so distant, because I hate how much I've hurt you," he finished and took a few steps towards her. When he reached her he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head into her neck.

"You were never losing me," she whispered.

"I know. I'm just stupid," he smiled against her skin and kissed her neck.

"Derek, you know it's not this easy to make everything better, right?" She asked as she turned around to face him.

He nodded and rested his forehead on her's. "Yes, but it's a start," he smiled again and kissed her lips. They were getting there. They would be fine.

**ADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEKADDEK**

**And now you review because you love me. And you also give me ideas:)**

**Beth**


	2. I'll Look After You

**A/N: Okay here's another chapter of this. Obviously!! Not really related, except for it's still Addison and Derek with Mark there too. In New York. I have one more one like this planned and then it'll just be random one-shots with Addek in. Mostly they'll be happy and fluffy, but some could be sad, angsty or smut, depending on my mood really. **

**Oh, and this one wasn't beta-ed so sorry for any mistakes. I just really wanted to get it uploaded and my beta is on holiday. :)**

**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.**

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A knock at the door pulled Derek from his thoughts immediately. He put his half empty beer bottle on the table and heaved himself off the couch to answer the door. As he passed the stairs he glanced up hopefully, but he knew he wouldn't see Addison walking down towards him. Shaking his head he carried on to the door.

Pulling it open, he attempted a smile. "Hi, Mark. How are you?"

"Good thanks," Mark nodded and walked in past Derek. "You?"

Derek closed the door and followed Mark through to the living room. "Fine. I'm just fine."

Mark glanced at him. "No Addie, I'm guessing?" Derek shook his head. "Sorry."

Derek shrugged. "I just don't know what to do. If I try to talk to her she ignores me or tells me she's fine. If I don't talk to her she asks me what she's done wrong. I just want my wife back," he said before sitting down on the couch.

Mark watched his friend sadly. He hated to see what was happening to them, knowing he couldn't help. He hated that Addison was being so distant. He knew she was upset but she needed to talk about what had happened before it could get better.

"I feel so useless," Derek said, putting his head in his hands.

"I know," Mark nodded and sat down in the chair opposite him. "Me too."

The two men sat in silence for a while, Derek thinking about the past few weeks, and Mark thinking what he could do to help. How had so much gone wrong in so little time? Three weeks ago, Addison and Derek had been happily expecting a baby girl. They'd picked out colours for the bedroom and had tonnes of baby clothes bought already. Addison was coming up to the end of her seventh month, and they were just preparing to go for a meal at Derek's parents house to celebrate his sister Imogen's twenty-sixth birthday. Both Addison and Derek were ready to leave, and he told her to go wait in the car whilst he grabbed the presents and locked everything up. Five minutes later he found her lying at the bottom of the steps leading to their house unconscious. He'd rung for an ambulance, then phoned Mark to come over, and then his mother to apologize for having to miss the meal. She told him he was crazy to apologize, this was much more important, and that she'd get to the hospital as soon as she could. After a three-hour wait in the hospital waiting room (Derek had asked to scrub in on the surgery, or at least watch from the gallery, but the hospital had insisted it wasn't allowed for family members), the doctors delivered the news that broke Derek's heart. The surgeons were unable to save the baby, and in trying had almost lost Addison too. At this news, Derek collapsed on the floor in tears. He'd stayed there until the doctor had told him Addison was awake and that it was best if he was there when they broke the news to her. Derek had stood holding her hand whilst the surgeon explained all about the accident and the surgery, and the two had sat crying for three hours solid. One after the other, Derek's family members came in to see Addison, followed by her parents, and finally by Mark. Addison hadn't said a word since she was told the news, and even three weeks on she didn't say much more.

"What else can I do?" Derek broke the silence and raised his head to look at Mark. "She blames herself and I can't get her to see that this was just an accident."

Mark shook his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry. You've done everything I can think of."

"Yeah, I have," Derek replied.

Mark groaned as his pager beeped. "Sorry, I have to run, 911," he stood up and went to walk out of the room. Before leaving, however, he put a hand on Derek's shoulder and said, "just hold on," and walked out.

Derek stared into space as he heard the front door open and close, followed by a car door slam and that same car drive away. He knew Mark was right, he had to hold on, he just didn't know how long before he would lose his grip.

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That evening Derek decided to try with Addison again. He switched the TV off at ten thirty, took a quick shower before climbing into bed next to her. When she didn't move he wrapped his arm around her waist and linked his fingers through hers.

She opened her eyes slowly and allowed them to adjust to the darkness before she said anything. "Derek..."

"Shhh, Addie, it's okay. You don't have to talk, just lay in my arms for tonight," he whispered against her shoulder.

She nodded silently but didn't close her eyes again. She stared forwards thinking. It was all she did these days, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to get up and carry on with life. She knew she couldn't live like this forever, and that sooner or later she'd have to face everyone, but for now she was fine. Fine. She hated that word. It meant anything but 'okay'. It was what she'd say when she really wasn't okay, and just wanted someone, preferably Derek, to hold her and tell her it'd all be okay soon.

"Derek I'm so sorry," she said, using her free hand to wipe the tears off her face.

"Addie it wasn't your fault, okay. Stop blaming yourself," he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

She pulled her hand away from his and turned to face him. "What did I do, Derek, what did I do to deserve this?"

He shook his head and brushed her cheek with his finger gently. "You didn't do anything. Nobody did anything, it was an accident," he kissed her forehead.

Addison sighed and leant in to his touch. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and they lay together until Addison fell asleep. Derek smiled and kissed her hair as her breathing became shallower, and he allowed himself to drift of to sleep, still holding her close.

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The next morning Derek woke up first. He took a moment to take in the room and his eyes finally rested on Addison's sleeping form. He watched her for a few minutes, wondering how long it would take them to get back to normal, or if they'd ever even get there. He watched as her eyes fluttered open to meet his, and she smiled slightly before yawning.

"I've missed that smile," he said.

She nodded and pulled back slightly so she could look at him properly. "Do you think we're ever going to get through this? I mean, I know I'm the one who's staying up here all day, but I don't know how to move on."

"Ads it's okay to be upset. I'm upset too, I just know that if I carry on sooner or later it'll get easier. But it'd be a hell of a lot easier if you were with me, because I miss you so much, I just want my wife back," Derek sighed.

She broke eye contact with him and fiddled with the bed sheets. She wanted to believe him that it would get easier, but she wasn't so sure.

"Just come downstairs with me today," Derek suggested. "We can watch a movie or something?"

She looked back up at his hopeful eyes and nodded uncertainly. "Okay."

He smiled and pushed himself off the bed. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up after him, and she laughed when he kissed her nose. Slowly they walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs, his arm around her protectively. He settled her down on the couch before rooting through the DVDs to give her a few options.

"Okay," he said, standing up next to the TV with a pile of DVDs stacked next to him. "We have _Titanic, The Holiday, Bewitched, Moulin Rouge, _I'll put with with that one especially for you, and my personal favourite, _Armageddon,_" he smiled, trying to hold all five DVD boxes up in his hands, making her laugh.

"Well we have all day," she winked.

He laughed. "That we do. But which first?"

"Humm..._The Holiday_," she decided.

"Okay then," he said and turned to the DVD player to put in the movie. He grabbed the remote, sat down next to her, put his arm around her shoulders and pressed play.

She smiled and leant in to him. "I love this movie so much," she said, watching the screen closely as the movie started with the party.

"I know," he kissed her hair softly. "I love you Ads."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I love you too."

They sat watching the movie until it ended, and then Derek made her a hot chocolate and put on _Moulin Rouge._ He'd lost count of the number of times they'd watched this movie together, but he didn't care if it made her happy. He just couldn't understand her supposed love for it when she ended up in flood of tears by the end every time.

He rolled his eyes jokingly and wiped her tears away before putting on the next movie. They stayed like this for all but one of the movies, and when Derek was putting on the last there was a knock at the door. He stood up and went to answer it, leaving Addison with the remote to start the movie.

"Hi, Mark," Derek smiled when he opened the door to his friend.

"Hey, Derek," Mark chimed and walked in past him. He walked to the living room but stopped when he saw Addison sitting on the couch. "Addie?"

She paused the movie and turned to face him. "Hey, Mark," she said.

He grinned widely and ran to her, throwing his arms around her tightly. She laughed and hugged him back. "I've missed you Addie," he sighed and pulled back.

"Good," she winked.

Mark turned to look at the TV. "What're you watching?"

"_Bewitched_," Addison replied as Derek sat back down next to her. "You can stay if you like."

Mark nodded. "Okay, cool," he said and sat down in the chair next to them. "You know there's a real hot waitress in this?"

Derek laughed. "Trust you to know that!"

"Well I wouldn't want to disappoint you," Mark shurgged. "Press play, Addie."

"Oh yeah," she said and pressed play. She watched as Mark sat engrossed in the movie, and smiled when Derek pulled her into him. She knew it would take time, but soon they'd be back to normal, and that was the way it should be.

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**A/N: Soooo, reviews? And if you haven't seen **_**Bewitched**_**, the hot waitress is played by Kate Walsh. I had to put that in there lol!**


	3. Starting Over Again

**A/N: Back with another one-shot!! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten for the others, they mean so much. So this one's not as long as the others, but I hope you enjoy it anyways. It's set in Season Three, after the Addex kiss but before the ferry boat crash. And I know I said there was going to be another one like Chapters one and two, but I needed to write something non-angsty. Just happy. So here we go.**

**Thanks to Zoe (QueenSatan) for beta-ing. She's back, people, shouldn't be all mistake-y now!! Yay.**

**Disclaimer: See first chapter, or second. Could be both.**

**Enjoy.**

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

"Is this seat taken?" Derek asked.

"Nope," Addison shook her head, not looking up.

It was a cold Monday evening and the rain was falling as usual in Seattle. Joe's bar was busier than usual, with what looked like a birthday party going on. Derek sat down next to his ex-wife and ordered a scotch. He looked at Addison who was sipping a martini. She looked upset, but he didn't know whether it was his place to ask what was wrong. Her eyes looked tired and dull, and her whole posture was so un-Addison. He had only seen her like this once before; the night after he'd found her in bed with Mark. She was usually so strong. He put his hand on her arm and she looked up at him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes full of concern.

She looked into his eyes, noticing the look he always used to give her when he was worried. She missed him caring about her. Well, she missed anyone caring about her. She didn't have anyone she could turn to when she was upset anymore. "I'm fine."

He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrow. "Addie, I know you well enough to know that's not true. You're not fine."

"Then why did you ask?" She pulled her arm away from him quickly, downed the rest of her drink and stood up.

"Ads, wait," he said, grabbing her wrist.

"Why do you suddenly care about me so much, Derek? Things not going well with Meredith?" She snapped.

He flinched at her words. "I never stopped caring."

She laughed bitterly. "Whatever you say," she shook her head and began walking out of the bar.

Derek watched her leave, wondering why he felt such a strong need to follow her. The past few weeks he'd started to see Meredith in a different light, he'd come to realize no matter how many times he told her he loved her, he couldn't convince himself. She may believe him, but he didn't believe himself. Finishing his drink he stood up and followed Addison out of the door.. He looked around the deserted street outside and spotted her standing under a shelter just down the road. Pulling his coat tighter around himself, he walked down towards her.

When she saw him approaching she turned the other way, half hoping he'd walk past but the other half hoping he'd stop and put his arms around her like he used to.

"Addison," he said, his voice muffled by the rain.

She turned to face him. She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off by kissing her. She hesitated for a moment before giving in and kissing him back. She linked her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She slowly pulled back, needing air to breathe, and their eyes met. He kissed her forehead gently and pulled her against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, feeling comfortable in his arms.

"Addie I'm so sorry for everything I've done," he whispered into her ear. "I've messed up so much, I don't want Meredith, I don't love Meredith. I love you. She was just a distraction from everything that I'd ever done wrong with you. I know I'm mostly to blame for the end of our marriage, and I hate to think how much I hurt you."

She pushed against his chest so there was room to see him, because she couldn't think properly that close to him. She let her eyes wander from her hands up to his eyes, and what she saw sent shivers down her body. She saw the way he always used to look at her, the look that told her he loved her with all his heart and he'd never do anything to hurt her. Of course, she knew the last part hadn't exactly worked to plan, but she still wanted to believe he was sorry and that they could start over again.

She took a deep breath and broke eye contact with him. "How can I believe you after everything's that's happened?"

"You just have to trust me," he brushed her hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"That's easier said than done," she whispered, sighing at the feeling of his lips on her skin, the feeling she'd missed so much.

He moved his hand from her waist to take her hand, and bought it up to his mouth, kissing it gently. "Can we just start over? Okay, I know we can't start over like nothing's happened because there's too much history between us, but just give it another chance. Give 'us' another chance. Please? Not complicated at all, just two people with an awful lot of history, trying against all odds to be happy again."

She looked back up into his eyes, seeing the hope in them made her believe it could work for them. "But what about when it gets complicated?"

"Then we'll make changes and adjust to it. It'll start simple and easy, like the first date, but we won't have to go through the whole 'getting to know each other' thing. And then we'll move to more 'dates' and things may get complicated but nothing good in life isn't complicated."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "O-okay."

He grinned widely and kissed her again, holding on as long as he could until the need for air took over.

"And Derek," Addison said, leaning her forehead against his. "I never stopped loving you."

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

**A/N2: Thanks for reading, hope that was okay. Please review!! Oh, and if anyone has any short one-shot ideas, feel free to leave them in the review. Thanks.**

**Beth **


	4. Shoebox Of Memories

**A/N: I've had this written on paper for ages but I've been pretty busy with school and stuff recently so I haven't been able to update. Sorry. Oooh has anyone seen Enchanted yet? I went to see it last Saturday (it's only just come out over here) and I loved it. Patrick Dempsey's so hot in it!! A movie with him AND Idina Menzel, wow. So great, if you haven't seen it you should go! **

**Anyways this is another one of those one-shots. Set in season three sometime, Addison and Derek are split but he never went back to Meredith. I made up the names for Derek's mother and sister, by the way. It wasn't beta-ed cuz I didn't want to wait, so sorry for stupid mistakes. Hope you enjoy. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: As said by Phoebe (Friends)-not mine, not mine, not mine. Or if I skip, not not mine, not not mine. You get the idea.**

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"Dr. Shepherd, there's someone at the front desk for you," Derek looked up when he heard one of the nurses behind him.

"Okay," he nodded. "I'll be right there."

He sighed and closed the file he was working on. He wondered who could be asking for him, someone who couldn't just come and find him. Knowing his luck, it'd be another one of his sisters coming to moan about how much he'd messed up his life. He stood up and walked out of the door, finding the elevator and riding down to the front desk. Just as the bell rung and the doors opened, he took a deep breath to prepare for who he'd see.

"Derek!" He heard a familiar woman's voice and smiled to himself.

"Hey, Mum," he smiled and hugged her.

"How are you, Derek? You look tired?" Judy Shepherd asked.

"I'm fine, being a doctor is a lot of long hours," Derek replied.

"Well, I'm not here for that, anyways. We were clearing out the house a few weeks back and found some of your old stuff. And I was planning to take a trip up to Canada for the weekend so I thought I'd drop the stuff off," she smiled warmly.

Derek nodded. "Okay. Do you have this stuff with you or are you going to drop it off later?"

"I have it now," she said, picking up a box from the floor and handing it to him.

"Thanks," Derek peeked into the box but Judy stopped him.

"Wait until you get home," she told him. "I'll leave you to work now."

"Okay, thanks for the stuff," Derek replied and hugged her again.

"Bye love, take care of yourself," Judy smiled before walking out of the main entrance.

Derek looked down at the box, wondering what could be inside it. And why his mother hadn't mentioned Addison at all.

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Collapsing on one of the on-call room beds, Addison closed her eyes trying to get some sleep. It'd been a long day and all she wanted to do was relax in peace. However, as usual it wasn't that easy. She cursed to herself as her phone began to ring, and she flipped it up tiredly.

"Hello?"

"Addison! How are you?"

Addison sat up quickly, both surprised and happy to hear the voice. "Judy?"

"Of course, love. Now I need your help with something," Judy said.

Addison rolled her eyes but smiled. "What's that?"

"Well I gave Derek some things earlier, and, well I want you to be there to look through the things with him," Judy said hesitantly.

Addison paused to think. "I don't know what good that'll do."

Judy sighed. "Just go and see him, Ads, you know I'm always right about these things."

Addison shook her head, realizing Judy was right. Okay, fine, but I'm not making any promises."

"Thank you," Judy replied. "See you soon."

"Bye," Addison said and hung up the phone. She had no idea what Judy was up to, but she knew there was no way she'd get out of it.

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Pulling up at Derek's trailer brought back memories of the months she'd spent there whilst they were working on their marriage. She could still see the scene of her sitting waiting for him for hours at Thanksgiving. She shook the image out of her head and opened her car door. Something inside her was screaming not to carry on walking, but after everything in her past she chose to ignore it.

She walked across the grass and up the steps, a nervous feeling forming in her stomach. She saw a light on inside but couldn't hear voices, so she was sure Derek was alone. She knocked and stood back, waiting.

After a few moments, the trailer door opened and her eyes met Derek's. He looked surprised to see her, but not angry, which she was thankful for.

"Addison, hi," he paused. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged. "Your Mum called me. Said she gave you some things and that I should be here when you sorted through them. You know I should just go," she turned around, regretting her decision to come now.

"No, wait," he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. "Just stay. I was about to start looking through the stuff, you can come help me," he smiled to her.

"Okay," she gave in.

He pulled the door further open and let her walk in. The familiar smell of the trailer hit her, and she felt comfortable. She inwardly cursed herself for thinking this was anything more than 'sorting through things'. She glanced around, remembering the time when she lived here with him, and thought about the few good times they'd had. He walked into the bedroom where the box was set down on the bed, and she followed hesitantly.

"Are you sure this is okay?" She asked.

"Of course it is. Sit down and i'll make you a drink," he motioned to the bed.

"Okay, thanks," he replied, taking a seat.

A few minutes later he came back in with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, which he set down on the table beside the bed. He grabbed the box and tipped its contents out and sat down next to her.

Addison grabbed one of the smaller boxes and opened it, smiling to herself as she felt Derek look over her shoulder. She swallowed hard and focused on the photos in front of her. Lifting out a small pile she saw images of her and Derek one Christmas at the Shepherd's house.

"That was Abby's first Christmas," Derek pointed to the picture, referring to his sister Alice's first daughter.

Addison nodded. "Yeah. The house was crazy that year," she smiled at him.

"It really was."

She turned back to the photos, now flicking through some other Christmases and family birthdays. Every now and then she'd smile or laugh, remembering the day well. She passed the pictures onto Derek, who also laughed as he recalled some of the random events his family had had in the last few years. Thinking to himself he noticed how happy he looked in the ones with Addison, how much his face lit up when he looked at her or she was near. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed those times. Life had been so much simpler then, and he missed feeling so secure and happy as he used to when she was in him arms.

"Derek," she said, breaking into his thoughts. "Look."

He took the photo she was holding from her hand and looked at it. He took a deep breath when he saw the picture of him and Addison together, just moments after he'd proposed. Her arms were around his neck and his around her waist. They both had wide, cheesy grins of their faces and he could see the ring on her finger. He stared at the photo for a while before taking another deep breath and turning to face her. She was looking at him, chewing her lip nervously. That was one trait about her that he could never resist, the way she chewed her lip, and he still found it irresistably cute.

He moved his hand over to squeeze hers gently. "I'm sorry, Addie," he whispered.

She gazed into his eyes, finding it hard to breathe with his hand on hers and his close proximity. Even after everything, she still felt breathless around him. They gazed into each others eyes for a few moments, maybe a few too many for a divorced couple, until she broke away.

"Anyway," she shook her head and carried on looking through the pile of old things.

"Yeah," he said quietly, taking a few seconds to tear his eyes away from her.

They carried on in silence for a while, passing photos back and forth as well as old items. _'So much for getting off lightly,' _Derek thought to himself. He hadn't expected his mother to do this much to remind him of Addison. Compared to this, Nancy had been a walk in the park. Still concentrating on the photoes he tried to remember great times like these he'd had since they'd split or with Meredith. But he realized it was too hard as there were no 'great times'. He'd lost those when he lost Addison. And, right now, he'd give anything to get it all back.

"What's this?" He asked, holding up a tape.

She shrugged. "No idea. Shall we watch it?"

He nodded. "Sure." He stood up and walked over to the TV and video player, pushing the tape in and grabbing the remote before sitting back down beside her.

"It doesn't have a label either," she muttered, looking at the case. "Press play then."

He pressed play and set the remote down beside him. As the tape began played he realized what it was and glanced at Addison. "Do you really want to watch this?"

She turned to face him. "I'll be fine." Truth was she probably wouldn't be fine, she was sure she'd end up crying and that would ruin the evening. She watched as the picture flicked to Derek, all smart and dressed up but nervous looking, standing at the end of the aisle. Mark stood next to him chatting, but Derek's attention was focused on somewhere different. The camera flicked around to Addison, who wore a long, beautiful white dress. Her red hair was gently curled and loose around her shoulders. She smiled at Derek and began walking down the aisle towards him.

Addison pulled her legs up close to her chest and sighed. She didn't really want to watch any more of the video but her eyes were glued to the screen. She missed being as happy as she was there. Missed how good it felt to have someone who loved her so much by her side.

Derek glanced down at what his hand had just touched. He frowned when he saw a small piece of paper. He picked it up and saw his mother's handwriting scribbled across it. _'You know what to do,' _it read. He looked over at Addison who had tears down her face but was still engrossed in the video. He shuffled his body across towards her and put his arm around her.

"I miss it so much," she whispered.

"I know," he said, pulling her into him. "Me too."

"God, Derek, I miss you," she sobbed against his chest. "I'm sorry but I love you."

He smiled and kissed her hair gently. "I love you too."

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**A/N2: Too fluffy? Probably. Anyways, that's going to be my last update until February cuz I have exams after Christmas and I really need to study. I have a few ideas for other chapters off this but I'm always open to new ones. Possibly might do one related to Enchanted or RENT. Maybe. idk what do you think?**

**Please review. :) -Beth**


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